The Do’s and Don’ts of Divorce

If you are contemplating divorce, make sure you
follow these rules to improve both the process and
the outcome.
If you know others who are contemplating divorce,
do them a big favor and share these rules with them.
DO’S

• DO make copies of all relevant financial documentation,
  including income tax returns, loan applications, wills and
  trusts, mortgage statements, credit card statements, bank
  statements, retirement statements, insurance policies and pay
  stubs. Keep all documentation in a safe place.
• DO make a list of all assets and personal property with
  approximate values.
• DO inventory any bank boxes or safety deposit boxes.
• DO obtain your credit report.
• DO change your pass codes on e-mail accounts, social media
  sites and cell phones.
• DO make a realistic budget for your life after the divorce.
• DO keep a calendar detailing the time you and your spouse
  spend with the children if parenting time is at issue.
• DO find a lawyer whom you trust and then follow his/her
  advice.
• DO follow court orders.

DONT’S

• DON’T allow emotion to cloud your judgment when making
  important decisions about your case.
• DON’T cancel any life, auto, homeowners’ or health
  insurance for your spouse unless the court orders otherwise.
• DON’T intentionally violate any court orders.
• DON’T send your spouse hostile or inappropriate text
  messages, e-mails or voicemails.
• DON’T post on social media any negative statements about
  your spouse and don’t share information about your divorce
  or any new relationship on social media.
• DON’T open any new credit accounts in your spouse’s name
  or jointly with your spouse.
• DON’T hide assets or misrepresent your income or debt.
  Doing so will only increase your legal fees, lengthen the
  divorce process, cause you serious financial repercussions
  and undermine your credibility with the judge.
• DON’T sell or give away assets while the divorce is pending
  unless your spouse agrees in writing.
• DON’T speak negatively about your spouse to your children
  or within earshot of your children.
• DON’T argue with your spouse while your children are
  present.
• DON’T put your children in the middle of the divorce
  process. Remember, this divorce is difficult enough for them
  without having to choose sides between their parents.
• DON’T use the children as messengers.
• DON’T make false accusations about your spouse to gain an
  advantage in the divorce.
• DON’T assume your divorce outcome will be the same as
  those of your friends, colleagues and others who have shared
  their divorce story with you. Remember, each divorce has its
  own set of facts and circumstances.
• DON’T draft your own separation agreement without
  having it reviewed by an attorney who can explain the legal
  ramifications to you.
• DON’T get stuck in the past. If you are having a hard time
  moving forward, speak with a qualified therapist who can
  help you deal with the divorce. Using your attorney as a
  therapist is never cost-effective.